Serbian basics I've learned so far

Prior to meeting Milan all I knew of Serbian culture was that there was a Serbian family who owned the bar my parents took us to when I was in high school and they made awesome lamb, did wonderful things with peppers in oil and the man was the most hairy person I'd ever met. I knew there were some Serbs I went to school with but they all kept to themselves in their own little Serb clique so I didn't learn much other than never to assume they were Greek, Macedonia and CERTAINLY not Croatian...EGADS!

Here are just a few lessons I've learned in the past 6 months....

- Serbian Orthodox holidays are different than the Christian counterparts due to the use of the Gregorian calendar...usually. Christmas and New Year's are 13 days later but Easter sometimes falls on the same day...I don't know why.

- They celebrate Slava, which is a feasting celebration of the family's patron saint. This is a uniquely Serbian holiday. The patron saint is passed on from father to son through the generations. Milan's is St. John the Baptist and is on January 20.

- All holidays involve family, food and usually alcohol...all in abundance.

- Kumovi is "the Godfamily." Kuma is a woman, Kum is a man. What is hard to grasp is that your personal Kumovi are called Kum and Kuma by everyone in your family...and everyone in your Kumovi is also called Kum and Kuma. So if you find yourself at an event and you can't remember someone's name, call them Kum or Kuma and you'll be safe 99% of the time because chances are they are somehow related to someone who is Kumovi to someone you are somehow related to.

- Wear black to church whenever possible...and woman should ALWAYS wear skirts and long sleeves are highly recommended. Other colors and sleeve lengths are okay but I promise people will look at you and spot you as an outsider. I made the mistake of wearing pants once and Milan's sister was kind enough, after I'd already figured it out on my own, to tell me to get a skirt before we left. Milan, being a man, was oblivious to this rule. The sleeve length I figured out on my own, though they seem to be lightening up on this because at a recent service I saw that the choir director was wearing short sleeves. Unless it is really hot, then suddenly lighter colors and tank top are acceptable. I don't make the rules, just try to follow them.

- Comfortable shoes are a MUST for going to church! Something else I wish I had known in advance because my feet were dying after Christmas service in knee-high boots. I have been to 4 services so far (Christmas, Slava, 1 misc one during Lent and one that ended up being the church's Slava) which comes to about 6 hours of church and I'd say about 5 of those were spent standing.

- Before arriving at for dinner, find out if the host/hostess will be offended if you bring a dish. I know that bringing a dish is proper thing to do but seems some may be offended as they see it as you thinking they aren't capable of providing everything a host should. I don't know if this is a Serbian thing or just a "Milan's family" thing.